Red shoes, No knickers

Tuesday

7

August 2012

0

COMMENTS

Pearls of wise one

The lessons I teach and the tales I tell will – I am sure – one day go down in history as being….well, either pretty awesome or pretty average but I shall plump for the pretty AWES-BALLS!!! YEAH ME!!!

Having performed {entertaining you every step of the way, my Shoelets} two Wardrobe detoxes in as many days I heard myself repeating the same sartorial mantras to two very different women.  One tall, leggy and in her 20’s – the other curvy, petite and in her mid 30’s.  Essentially – amongst other things – I said the same three things to both women:

1} To appear more streamlined – like an Olympic swimmer {themed…hope you appreciate that?} we should always show off the slimmest part of our bodies.  Regardless of our size it will always be ankles and wrists.  Remember back in the day?  Those delicate, feminine parts of our smoking bodies had to be cover up for fear of nearby erections?  Times have changed ladies and regardless of seeing a stiffy we want to flash those tiny areas of flesh and we’re GONNA!

{orla kiely blouse and skirt, rae jones flats, diesel sunnies}

2} Accentuate your best feature – Show off that waist! Parade an awesome decollatage! Pop out a boob or two! Flash a leg! Wear a crop top! As is widely documented on RSNK I like to get that teeny, tiny waist of mine IN! Get her in and her her up! However, after two solid days of pin flashing while camping in Weymouth, a little bronzage on the old leggage made me want to wear something only a little longer than a pair of nix.  They don’t get out much – Let them be free!!!  My legs that is not my nix, they’re flashed around town every time I get on my bike.

d} And lastly.  Opposites attract. If it’s loose on top then it’s tight down bottom.  If it’s tight on top then it’s loose down el bottome.  If it’s loose all over it’s kaftan central.  If it’s tight all over it’s Christy Turlington circa 1992. Simples.

Take my advice and run a sub 10 second race with it. {Again.  Themed. Tanks.} For more Tricks of the Trade click me or call me to come and tell you in person.

Below is a gratuitous NOO SHOE shot.  Head on over to Poste Mistress on Monmouth street my Shoelets.  Ridiculous sale.

Posted in Beautiful shoes, Comfy chic, Outfit city, Tricks of the trade

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